Sunrise
by laundryflowers
Summary: Post-Breaking Dawn. Renesmee has finally grown up and reflects on the life of her and her family. She becomes aware of Jacob's imprint on her. But is this what she wants? R
1. Imprint

**Author's note: While this is not my first fan fiction, it is my first one in around three or four years, and one of the few that isn't a crack fic (we all went through that phase, right?). I wanted to explore the possibility of Renesmee perhaps only viewing Jacob as a brother.**

**Renesmee POV**

I often wondered what it was like to be in love.

I saw the way my father looked at my mother, their relationship magnetic. My mother had told me the stories of her past life, one she had lived not even a decade ago. She told me of their early relationship, filled with danger and risks, sacrifice and compromise. She told me of her fascination with my father, and her desperate attempts to convince him that he was not a monster, but an angel. I often sat on the bed, my knees pulled under my chin, as I listened to the story that was their relationship. It was one of my favorite parts of my short childhood. My mother would braid my hair as my father played the soundtrack to her tales, making them seem as if they were from a story book. Yet, I was all the proof I needed.

Jacob Black was another important part of my childhood. I remembered the excitement that coursed through my veins as he rushed through the forest in his wolf form, with me on his back, an extreme form of horsey, I suppose. We seemed to fly past the thick, green forest of Forks and glide into the reservation, a second home to me. We would visit my grandfather, Charlie, and his wife, Sue, and spend the day eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, something I ate more for Charlie's sake. Although he had seen Jacob in his wolf form and suspected that the Cullens were not as they seemed, I thought he deserved a bit of normalcy.

I felt bad for my grandmother, Renee, a woman I had come to admire, though I had never met her. My mother explained she would probably not be able to handle the situation, and she was better off thinking her daughter and son-in-law had perished in a mysterious camping fire. If she knew, she would be in danger, and probably cease to function. My mother said the "deaths" of her and my father brought her closure, and at least a chance to move on. I knew my mother would occasionally check on her from afar, making sure she was still alive, at least. She always made sure she was well taken care of, and when she fell short on cash, a miraculous few thousand would end up in her bank account. Renee chalked it up to a clerical error, but did not protest. If only she knew her dead daughter really was looking after her, as she often told her husband.

I remember I used to feel angry at my brief childhood. I felt it was too fast, too little time to cherish sweet moments such as my mothers stories and my rides with Jacob. I knew I had all the time in the world, yet there was not enough time for just being a child. I remember one of my moments of anger had occurred when I had just turned six years old, the full age of maturity for me. I looked as if I could be a sibling to either my father or mother. Jacob and I skipped rocks along the calming waves of La Push beach, and I smiled in contentment, happy in that moment.

Jacob turned to look at me, and smiled at my closed eyes. This was a one of my sweet moments I never wanted to end, spending time with my best friend and brother-figure. I inhaled the sweet smell of the sea-salt, and let out a sigh of happiness. In this moment, I knew what my father had meant about certain moments you just wanted to stay in forever. For him, it was those late nights watching my mother slumber, or staying up all night talking. Those nights where it was just the two of them, away from the constant danger that lurked outside the bedroom window. For me, it was these afternoons spent with Jacob on La Push.

"Nessie," he breathed, a slight laugh in his voice. I must have had my eyes closed for a solid ten minutes, but time passed very differently for me.

"Sorry," I replied with a bashful grin, suddenly feeling very embarrassed. His smile soon faded, however, and his face took on a solemn demeanor.

"Jake, is there something wrong?" I inquired, eager to help.

He shook his head almost forcefully, but continued to stare at the crashing ocean waves. He seemed to be deep in thought, and I decided I should give him some alone time. He objected. He slowly rose to his feet and walked over towards me, filling the gap between us. I smiled again in contentment. Jacob's hugs were the greatest moments I could think of.

"I've been thinking..." he whispered, leaving his thoughts to trail. I was about to press the issue further, but before I could, I felt a strange feeling sear across my lips, filling into my cheeks. It happened so quickly, I almost didn't know what it was.

Jacob Black had stolen a kiss.

The realization sent anger and confusion through me. Only moments ago, this boy was my childhood playmate. He was my brother, the one who had played hide-and-go-seek with me when I was small, the one who had dressed up in a frilly boa and hat as we played tea-party together. I shook my head violently now, disgusted. This was wrong, so, so wrong. I felt a sob in my throat, but was determined not to let it out. I quickly got up and started to run back to my family, desperate to feel the comforting embrace of my mother. I didn't pay any attention to his string of apologies and pleas for me to stay. I ran until I could no longer hear his voice.

**A/N: I hope you liked it. Let me know if you'd like for me to continue. It seems I have a sudden urge to get all these ideas out! **


	2. Thoughts

**A/N: Here's chapter two. Let me know what you think!**

_Ness, please talk to me. We need to talk, please._

_**Beeeeep.**_

_C'mon Ness, just a phone call is all I need. Or a text. Please answer._

_**Beeeeep.**_

_Do I need to send a fucking carrier pigeon? I'm getting kinda pissed._

_**Beeeeep.**_

_Shit, that wasn't right. I didn't mean to sound so jerk-ish. Please call me._

_**Beeeeep.**_

I sighed and and angrily unplugged the answering machine. It had been at least a month since the incident, and I was ignoring Jake like the plague. It's not that I didn't miss him, quite the opposite actually. I missed him more than I could ever imagine. I just wasn't sure of how I exactly felt. I missed him so much, but it was the brother-Jake I longed to see again. I needed time to process my emotions. And I would take my time, no matter how much he begged. I knew I was hurting him, but I felt it was fair. Now we were even. I figured if he really felt so strongly about me, he would let me take my time.

The past month had felt quite strange, to say the least. Jake had been in my life from day one, and so to go a day without him felt... different. Not bad, not great. Just different. It was a bit nice to have time to myself. Before the incident, I was either spending time with my family, or spending time with Jacob. I had been with somebody from the moment I woke up to the moment I fell asleep. Jake's absence allowed me time to actually have some privacy. My new found free time was quite nice. I didn't even know our house contained a library, and I spent days inside it at a time, surviving off of bland cereal while I poured over Shakespeare and Dickens. Who would've known reading was so enjoyable? Certainly not me. It was a nice change to rock-skipping, that was sure. I was beginning to enjoy this vacation away from my mandatory best friend.

"Renesmee, are you alright?" My dad's voice broke me out of my contemplative state. I don't know. Was I alright? _Oh, gee, I don't know, Dad, just confused about adolescence. _

"Ah," he said. "About boys and the likes." Mind-reader father makes his abilities known yet again.

I rolled my eyes. "You know how I feel about the one-sided conversations."

He grinned. "Yes, but I'm your father. I need to know things like this." I couldn't not smile to that. His dad-ness almost made me feel better. I figured there was no way around the issue.

"There's not."

"Dad!"

"Sorry," he replied. "I promise I won't do it again. Please tell me what troubles you." You could practically hear the concern.

"Jacob kissed me, as you probably know-"

"I do."

I scowled. "I know you know. Anyway... I know I'm his imprint and I'm supposed to be totally in love with him and all, but-"

He interrupted again. "Wait a minute. Don't think for one minute that you are somehow obligated or tied to him in any way by destiny or whatever." He rose from his seat and looked me straight in the eyes, making sure I understood what he said. "Do not think for even a second that you have to be anything to him." His voice was getting higher, his message wanting to be heard. "You are Renesmee. You belong to no one but yourself. You are not obligated to be his girlfriend, sister, friend, or anything. If anyone, especially Jacob, ever tells you otherwise, you let me know. I'd like to talk to them."

"Thanks, Dad. I think, for now, all I need is time to think. Preferably without my mind-reading father in the same space as me," I replied, hoping for some alone time.

He smiled that Edward Cullen smile at me, the one that Mom loved. "I'll ask the rest of the family if they want to take a bit of an early hunting trip. That should give you some time. Meanwhile you can enjoy your disgusting cereal."

I hugged him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you. Now shoo!"

I paced back and forth in my bedroom. It had been a week since Dad's gift of a hunting trip, yet my thoughts were still not sorted. Why was this so hard? I decided to go on what I absolutely knew about this situation. Number one: violation. I felt violated. _Good, Renesmee, that's a start. Why did you feel violated?_ Hmm. Why? It almost felt as if Jacob just expected I would like kissing him. No, too small. It felt as if Jacob expected I would be his, and that I would never date anybody. That I was just automatically his because of some feeling he felt while looking at a baby six years ago. Dad was right. I was no one's. I belonged to myself. Elated with the beginning of the thought-sorting process, I continued.

Number two: What's so bad about being with Jake? I thought about this again. It wasn't only his expectation I would be his that was the problem. It was my need to go out and... explore. I decided humans were off the table as far as dating went. No need to involve the Volturi. That limited my options to those who knew of vampires, which were, well, vampires and werewolves. Which actually really only limited my options to vampires, as another werewolf being in a non-imprint relationship with me was practically impossible. Good. At least I was getting somewhere with this thought thing.

Could I really do that, though? Be in a relationship with a vampire? Sure, we wouldn't be able to do a lot of things that I do with Jake. But it would be easier, in a way. Aunt Rosalie would sure appreciate the dog-smell being gone. Would a vampire even want to be with a half-vampire, though? I didn't really have a lot of information to go off of here. And it wasn't exactly like there was some vampire OKCupid. Most of the vampires I knew were either related to me or taken. And even if I did find a single vampire, it's not like I could just will myself to fall in love with him.

I sighed for what seemed like the millionth time today. I was quite proud of myself, actually. I had sorted my thoughts and came up with a rough draft of a game plan. My stomach fluttered at the thought of step one in the plan. I decided to just get it over with. I dialed the number, and waited for him to answer.


	3. Mating

**A/N: Here's chapter three! Don't know how many have been reading, but I really enjoyed writing this chapter! Oh, and I obviously don't own Twilight. I just like to fix things I don't like through fan fiction LOL! **

As much as I wanted to get things sorted out, I couldn't find it in my heart to hurt him just yet. More importantly, there were things I needed to do for myself before I faced him. I needed to do these things in order to give him some answers, so he would know I wasn't just hurting him to be cruel. The more I thought about it, the more I wondered how Jacob would see it. I didn't even know if it was possible for him to see me as anything other than an angel. I could murder the whole population of Forks and he would probably find a way to defend me, to blame them for smelling so darn tasty. The lengths Jacob would go to be with me disturbed me. So, like the coward I was, I quickly canceled the call and threw the phone against the wall. It flew through with ease, creating a small hole.

The property damage was not lost on the ears of my grandfather, Carlisle, the only other person in the house. My father and uncles had decided to help the neighboring city with their rapidly increasing bear population, while my mother, grandmother, and aunties had decided to check out the newly opened mall. Auntie Alice had thrown one of her famous fits when I had chosen to remain at home, but a knowing glance from my mother convinced her to leave me be. I decided to interrupt whatever he was doing in his study. He glanced up from his book and flashed a smile at me.

"Sorry about the damage," I apologized. He stood and walked past me, leading us into the living room.

He chuckled. "You should know that the others have caused more destruction to the house than you. We had to kick Emmett and Rosalie out numerous times because of the damage caused by their-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't need a mental picture!" I screamed. It was too late, though. The image sent a disgusted shudder through my body. _No one_ deserved to witness the lovemaking sessions of their relatives on a regular basis. My parents and I, though thankful for the cottage, had missed the regular company of the rest of the family, and decided to move into the main house, with several rooms being added. I cringed at the memory of the time I overheard Uncle Jasper and Auntie Alice acting out a strange Civil War scenario...

"Sorry, Renesmee. Was there something in particular that you wanted?"

I nodded. If there was anyone that had the information I needed, it would be my grandfather. However, I knew his knowledge only extended so far. "I was wondering what you could tell me about mating."

Now, Grandpa Carlisle was not a prude man. He knew sex, between two (or more) consenting adults was completely natural and strongly beneficial to a relationship, regardless of species. But I knew by the look on his face that if he were human, he would be blushing and sweating profusely.

He eyed me nervously. "What exactly do you want to know?" He asked cautiously. Now he was making _me_ embarrassed. I chose to continue. If I didn't do this now, I didn't think I'd have the guts to do it later. I kept my voice steady and looked him straight in the eye.

"Well... I have a rough grasp of the, er, more _intimate_ side of vampire mating. That's not exactly what I wanted to talk about, though..." I trailed. Maybe this was a bad idea.

"Renesmee, you know you don't have to be embarrassed about anything around me. My reaction was simply towards the reason why you were asking, as I noticed Jacob hasn't been around lately." His explanation calmed my nerves.

"This has nothing to do with him," I insisted. "It's about _vampires_."

"Of which you are half of. But please, do go on."

"Thank you." I decided to just get down to it. "How do you know someone is your mate?"

He smiled, nostalgic. "Oh, you would know. As you probably are aware of, when I changed your grandmother, Esme, my only intention was of saving her. I recognized her from ten years before, as a young sixteen year old girl who had broken her leg. I remembered her how sweet she had been and thought it a great loss of such a life. But when she woke from the change three days later, something had shifted."

"Was that the moment you knew you were mates? When she woke up?" I inquired.

He shook his head. "Not quite at that moment. Of course, with any healthy relationship, we got to know one another first. But, yes, as we talked and went through our days, there was a certain pull we felt to each other, some sort of electric current we felt. She felt very scared, of course, as she thought she was dead. She relied on me for comfort, as she had just lost her newborn baby son. But it was clear that we felt a connection that was not friendly or familial. It was a romantic tie."

My grandfather, as helpful as he usually was, was starting to annoy me. "But when was the _exact_ moment you knew you were mates?" I pressed. "When you looked at each other and decided to be a couple?"

His embarrassed demeanor was back. "Well, when we... mated."

I blushed, silently cursing my human half. "S-so you just mated? Just like that? No dates or anything first? Just _bang_ and you're mates?"

He laughed. "I told you. When vampires encounter their mates, their subconscious knows before they do."

I narrowed my eyes. "What about my parents?" I asked. "I know it wasn't under the same circumstances... Do you think it was almost the same, with the singer thing and all? Like, my dad _knew_ somehow?"

My grandfather's smile vanished. "I don't think so, I'm afraid. Your uncle, Emmett, came across a singer of his on more than one occasion... It didn't end well."

"Oh, yeah," I mumbled. I had somehow forgotten that a majority of my loving family had killed people before.

He continued to speak. "However strange this sounds, I think the love story of your parents was more... traditional, in a way."

"Traditional!" I balked.

"I know, it's not as if you see a vampire-human relationship on a daily basis. I was merely pointing out how Edward and Bella, er, your parents, actually dated. It was most likely due to your mother being human, and not having the vampire urge to mate. And your father was too overcome with his blood lust to even think about that the first time he saw her. When they did establish their romantic feelings, they took more than a year to consummate it, for safety and moral reasons. Though, I supposed he did mate on her while she was human, as his love for her allowed him to have more control than he would earlier on in their relationship."

"Premarital sex was more up your alley, eh, Grandpa?" I teased.

Again, I knew if he could, he would be blushing. "With two vampires, it's not something you can help. I see our true marriage as starting when we did mate for the first time. We married in a ceremony with your father officiating soon after, but we waited until we could set up a new identity for her until we made it legal."

I thought about what he said. "Do you think Jacob is my mate?"

He shook his head. "I really don't know, my dear. I'm sorry. I don't know how things work for you exactly. I don't know if you have a vampire mate somewhere, or if your human side allows you to fall in love like they do, or if Jacob's imprint on you somehow affects this. I wish I could tell you." He really was sincere. I knew it frustrated him not knowing much about hybrids.

"But..."

"What is it, dear?" he asked.

I was a little reluctant to tell him. "Our cousins... the Denalis. I know Tanya doesn't have a mate, and it took Kate forever to find Garrett. And the other one, that reported us, Irina. It took her a long time to find Laurent. I just don't know if I could wait a hundred years, or a thousand years like Kate. "

He looked at me sadly. "I know. That's the thing. We don't just have a mate out of one of the current vampires in the world. Our mate could be human, and be changed in the future, like your parents. Or they could have been destroyed before having gotten the chance to meet. I really do feel for Kate. A thousand years... Though, do remember, I waited two-hundred-fifty-eight years for mine. Your father waited eighty-seven years. Jasper waited eighty-five years. The others were a bit more lucky, I suppose."

I sighed. "I know. Time just seems to be my enemy."

"Time is anything but your enemy, dear."

I rolled my eyes. "Not like that. I mean now, in this moment. I don't want to start a romantic relationship with Jacob, at least until I know for sure it's real love and not just an imprint thing. Because I don't want to be with him just because I'm his imprint."

And then I just lost it. I threw myself into my grandfather's arms and started to sob. "I just want to have a choice in who I choose to spend my life with is all," I cried.

He patted my back lovingly, and pulled back to look into my eyes. "Jacob imprinted on you. From what I gather, he's supposed to be anything you need him to be. So, although he may want to start a romantic relationship with you, he won't unless you want to. He has to give you indefinite time."

"I guess," I sadly said.

"Renesmee," he pleaded, "You're so young. Whether you feel six years old or sixteen years old... You're still so young. Don't think you have to chose right away, or chose at all. Though highly unlikely, if Esme decided she hated me and never wanted to see me again, I would respect her wishes and never see her again. Because I love and respect her. You have all the choice in the world, my dear. Please don't worry yourself."

"But-"

He didn't let me speak. "No. Remember that being in a relationship isn't the most important thing in the world, my dear. Live. Make mistakes. Because although you drink blood on a regular basis and have an indefinite lifespan, you are part human."

I started to cry again, though this time not out of sadness. I was so unbelievably touched my his words I didn't know what to say. I just hugged him closer, grateful that this kind, wonderful man was my grandfather.

After I was done crying, I collected myself and spoke.

"Thank you. You've really helped me. I love you, Grandpa." I started to walk out of his study, when he started to speak again.

"Oh, Renesmee, our miracle child. I'm so glad you feel better. But if you really do want to know more about your kind, I do suggest making contact with a certain hybrid who has truthfully helped you and this family tremendously."

I mentally smacked myself in the head. Of course. I shot up to my room, my vampire nature making itself clear in the way I zipped around, throwing random articles of clothing into my too-small suitcase. How could I have been so stupid? All the answers to my questions, all this confusion... They could be easily answered, though not by Carlisle. No, the answers to my questions lay thousands of miles away, within the deep rainforest of somewhere in South America. I quickly scrawled out a note to the rest of my family, and bid my grandfather goodbye, asking him to explain to the others. I could see the reluctance in his eyes, and I felt sorry for putting him in the position to face my surely angry father, but this was too important. I couldn't wait any longer. I finished packing and shot out the door. I had a flight to catch.

**A/N: I hope you liked it! Chapter four will be written and published within this month!**


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